The Tragically Unhip

This is what our Facebook group looks like. You should join it.

10. Ironic Groupie: David Fiore, awesome and delicious

Facebook Group: Tie: Playing Bridge is Awesome/Cracklin’ Oat Bran is Delicious

Notes: Dave belongs to 224 Facebook groups. This is because he likes a lot of things.  Hey, wouldn’t it be neat if he were to eat Cracklin’ Oat Bran while playing bridge?!  Talk about killing two birds with one stone!

9. Ironic Groupie: Laurin McNiff, master drunk-dialer

Facebook Group: Dear Alcohol… We Need to Talk

Notes: An open letter to alcohol, this group addresses the unanimous concerns of all people who enjoy the consumption of alcohol but dislike its: accompanying hangovers, drunken phone calls to exes at 3 a.m., falling down stairs, posing for stupid pictures, and going home with ugly people (17, 018 members and counting).

8. Ironic Groupie: Ryan Marlboro, frequently gets wasted for ten dollars or less

Facebook Group: Beer in the Shower

Notes: Beer in the Shower’s philosophy is that if it’s okay for people to enjoy a glass of wine in a nice, relaxing bubble bath, well, why not grab a brewskie in the shower?

 
7. Ironic Groupie: Celeste Parr, actually quite thin

Facebook Group: I Love Cocoa Locale

Notes: When we assigned Celeste the title of “Resident Cupcake Expert” in our Tragically Unhip Facebook group, we didn’t realize just how much the girl actually loved them until we saw that she belongs to the group devoted to Mile End cupcake mecca Cocoa Locale. Wow.

 
6. Ironic Groupie: Meghan Best, needs Essex-ual liberation

Facebook Group: Penny-Picker Steve Appreciation Society

Notes: You might need a British slang dictionary to understand everything being said in this group’s description, but it’s really quite funny.  We wish we had a famous, crazy, jig-dancing bum over on this side of the Atlantic.

 
5. Ironic Groupie: Sofia Shendi, web programmer (a.k.a. blog pretty-maker)

Facebook Group: Dennis Rodman Basketball League St. Henri

Notes: We don’t even know what to say about this fantasy sports league, so we just copied and pasted the group’s description for you: “THE DENNIS RODMAN BASKETBALL LEAGUE IS A GROUP OF HOMOS AND SKIDS WHO SHOW UP TO THE ST PHILIPPE COURTS IN ST HENRI ONCE A WK W/ BOOM BOXZ, PBR, WATERGUNS, POPCICLES AND FIERCE ASS OUTFITS AND PLAY BASKETBALL AND DO COURT WALK-OFFS AND THEN WATCH THE BOMB MOVIES AFTER LIKE WHITE MAN CAN’T JUMP AND LOVE AND BASKETBALL… MHM.”

 
4. Ironic Groupie: Marianne Perron, totally animal-friendly

Facebook Group: Totally Scared of Squirrels

Notes: Have you ever been strolling in the park or walking down the street and felt like something was watching you? Well, chances are, you’re either a paranoid schizophrenic or something really is watching you—like a stalker squirrel.  Marianne knows all about them, and they scare her.

 
3. Ironic Groupie: David Fiore, only half-Irish

Facebook Group: I Hate Saint Patrick and His Little Parade Too

Notes: None of us really understand why people would actually want to stand out in the cold and snow for three hours to watch a seemingly-endless parade of irrelevant floats for a bunch of classic rock stations and Shriners with silly hats, but David Fiore felt that it was necessary to create a group to protest this annual phenomenon.

 
2. Ironic Groupie: Ryan Marlboro, not emo

Facebook Group: I Hate Emo Kids More Than They Hate Themselves

This may very well be the first time we’ve mentioned emo kids on the Tragically Unhip. Emo kids are not to be confused with hipsters. We here at the Tragically Unhip are neither. To learn more about the plight of emo kids everywhere, watch this video.

 
1. Ironic Groupie: Genevieve D. Markle, not black

Facebook Group: I’m Friends with a Black Guy

Notes: You know the kind of white person who starts speaking ebonics as soon as a black person enters the room? Or who justifies ignorant statements with “It’s okay—some of my best friends are black”? Well, this group makes fun of people like that. Associated with popular website Black People Love Us, I’m Friends With a Black Guy is quite possibly the most ironic of all ironic Facebook groups. It’s political incorrectness at its best, and it’s a joke, so it’s okay to laugh. (We won’t tell.)