The other night I saw Samantha Ronson in “concert.” First off, I would like to say that I did not pay for these tickets. I would never pay money to see Samantha Ronson. I just wanted to make that disclaimer to preserve the fleck of dignity I have left after attending a Samantha Ronson DJ set.
Anyway, I saw Samantha Ronson play a show, which is kind of like watching the unhappiest person alive play computer on stage. SamRon performed an entire set without once changing her facial expression. The look on her face was similar to the one I wore this entire semester in my Comparative Politics class: sheer, aggressive boredom. She sulked, looked incredibly pissed off (because it must really suck being a Ronson), and DJ-ed. Or pretended to DJ. It was hard to tell.
It’s not like I’m some big electro-DJ-connoisseur or anything, but I have seen my fair share of laptop artists in the past few months. Headband-loving and proud PC-user Girl Talk opened the stage to audience members and caused a sweaty dance party at Kool Haus. Fellow DJ and party photo fodder Steve Aoki poured product-placed Grey Goose into audience members’ mouths. It’s not like I was expecting SamRon to perform circus acts or anything, but a simple “Oh, hey Toronto!” would have sufficed. She at no point acknowledged the audience for being there, which I guess makes sense because it’s not like they paid to see her or anything.
The mixes were tired and the dance floor was pretty tame. I didn’t even break a sweat. Expensive drinks made it impossible to drink until she was good. The big question was: Would girlfriend Lindsay Lohan—star of my favouritest childhood movie ever*—show up? I honestly don’t know—I left half an hour early and missed the whole “special guest” part.
Maybe I just wasn’t cool enough to get it. Maybe she’s actually really complex. Or maybe Samantha Ronson is just a tabloid darling and a really shitty DJ.
* The Parent Trap
Tragically Unhip Staff
Genevieve D. Markle
Marianne Perron
Kimberly Senf
Laurin McNiff
David Fiore
Celeste Parr
Poppa John
Tess Hart
Brooke D.
Elli S.
Meagan Burbidge
Mr. Flint
George Blottttt
Little Evie
This is so amusing to me. I have never understood why she is at all famous or considered to be talented. Well, it’s something to tell the grandkids. Sorry about the expensive drinks, though. :)
even worse is her ‘celebrity’ brother, mark ronson. he is, without question, the personification of the emperor’s new clothes. i don’t care what anyone says, he is a talentless, vacuous, cunt of the highest order.
he isn’t ‘gorgeous’ of as often mis-labelled by sycophantic women’s magazines; he’s actually a plain-looking twerp in a shiny suit. he’s not a ’super-producer’; he takes other people’s hits, adds a trumpet and calls it a remix. he’s not a ‘dance-floor filler’ either; he plays obscure motown records in a effort to be hip.
i once had the misfortune of seeing his live show (for free) and i felt cheated, despite having paid nada to get in. he doesn’t sing, he doesn’t dance and his fucking electric guitar wasn’t even plugged in. when he attempted to play the cowbell, he dropped it :(
mark ronson, i hate you.
I also wrote about SamRo when she came to Vancouver. I was equally disappointed, however, my review was more a projectile vomiting of expletives than this one. People (NOT ME THANK GOD) did pay to see her, I think $20 or something. Man, she sucked so bad! And most of the people were no doubt there to see the possible ’special guest’, who never showed up. SCAM I TELL YOU!
Side note, though. I do believe Mark Ronson is talented. He produced Amy Winehouse’s album, which I actually enjoy immensely.