The Tragically Unhip

a blog with three fingers on the pulse of uncoolness.

live in the lost February 22, 2010

Filed under: Art, Culture & Society, Manifesto — Marianne Perron @ 1:32 am

77 Yoko Ono Hair Pieces, Corina Kennedy

Emily Shanahan & Corina Kennedy

Liminal, fragmented, disconnected. Live in the lost sandwiches existence between the past and the present, alluding to a cultivated nostalgia that is made intelligent by distance. As a whole, the exhibition questions what it is to be present, complete, missing.

From the classical references in Shanahan’s study, to the avant-garde perdu in Kennedy’s 77 Yoko Ono Hair Pieces, the work moves through a non-linear timeline and carries into each era a notion of the fractured; many of the pieces fail to be complete in the traditional sense, and although selected pieces appear to form clusters in time, there is no overarching progression to define the experience. What then begins to appear is a hint of time – more specifically the “past” – as both here and gone, minus the measurement of how far gone, and how exactly here. The paradoxical imperative, live in the lost, becomes increasingly attainable; as the live (adjective) locates itself within that which has slipped away, it pulls the whole brouhaha within mind’s reach. And yet, the lost here is not exclusively temporal.

As one examines individual pieces, the pattern becomes prominent. Things are missing here. Limbs, faces, life – even Yoko Ono. The art, then, becomes a study of what constitutes a whole; and the question of whether life is carried on in the severed appendages teases the viewer.

Shanahan especially investigates this theme. Many of her classical inspired paintings feature statuesque figures and sculptural renditions from which key parts have been removed. Crumbled and eroded by time; or broken off by the artist? Both possibilities are entertained as one moves through the analogous representation of representation. Within this dialogue, an exploration of horror and darkness begins to emerge. The duo Head of Alexander and Head of Athena flatten and wash out once corporeal sculptures. The result: eerie and vacant glimpses into celebrated mythology. The disembodiment, then, becomes symbolic rather than incidental.

On another level, Nyx, Seer, Cupid #4 and Cupid #5 introduce a philosophical exploration of the void. Rich with dark, glossy strokes, this group of paintings pushes meaning forward from obscurity. Seer mirrors the disfiguring fear of Munch’s The Scream with blurred intentionality. Put into context by the surrounding theme of time, it gains a sickening sense of anxiety in the face of death. Paired together on a single wall, Cupid #4 and Cupid #5 enter into a charged exchange: the limbless #4 appears to emerge from a swirl of black, the headless #5 to retract into one.

Independently of these pieces, the video installation Six Minute Vanitas invites spectators to strap on headphones, turn their backs to the gallery, and meditate on death and the nature of transience. Contrary to the traditional stasis of the genre, Shanahan’s version employs technology, light play, sound and, delightfully, the human breath, to engage with the symbolism of the featured objects. A cow skull is framed by flickering candles – which are later extinguished – and adorned with plastic flowers. The limited life of the candles, imitated life of the flowers, and intimated life of the skull posits a modern eloquence in the execution of the vanitas, which is furthered by the chosen medium. And while the six minute clip suggests brevity and constraints, its cycling ad infinitum captures transience perhaps more accurately than the original model.

If Shanahan is concerned with enabling discourse between the classical and contemporary, Kennedy reconfigures the iconic. An interest in the fragmented is present alongside an investment in the effects of repetition, both acutely addressed in the aforementioned 77 Yoko Ono Hair Pieces. The sprawling arrangement is comprised of 77 black and white paintings on identical blocks of wood, forming a seemingly random pattern, the result of which is a rather arresting checkerboard portrait of that very famous hair. Individually, the pieces vary in texture, ratio, and complexity. Some are simple – nearly entirely black or white, unintriguing in their monotony. Others are complex to the point of creating optical illusions, poetic in their rendition. Together they challenge identity and the absolute, playing with the multiplicity that constitutes the individual and, cleverly, hair.

On a distant wall, AHair APart teases the memory of the hair pieces. Separate from the others, yet similar in style, this one stands a hair apart, so to speak, and yet, without the reference suggested by the previous work, entirely different, unidentifiable, mysterious. Barely resembling hair, upon closer inspection, the painting yields a humorous clue: the sweeping black is separated by what, in the hair world, is known universally as a part.

Kennedy’s paintings often take on a haunting quality that remains like an imprint upon the eye. From the first work encountered – a soft, wallpaper inspired vase whose flowers blur and bleed into the background – to the bizarre The Ambassador Inn – the exhibition literature offers another clue, and the answer it seems, is also in the wallpaper – color is muted, shaded, and layered, often having an otherworldly effect. Often the allusions in her work must be deciphered, at othertimes they seem private.

Glazed Girl is set apart from the other pieces by its ethereal eeriness and penetrating skill. At once zombie and flower child, the subject is rendered in wispy and hazy colors: across her belly stretches a gauziness that is suggestive of a womb into which we may peer, and flowers imprint a halo behind flowing hair that frames a hauntingly vacant face. In a collection of work that shows Kennedy’s skilled hand, Glazed Girl is exciting because it clearly pierces an entirely other level. This is the kind of coveted early work that will one day appear in a retrospective and garner marvel at its concentrated innocence and sophistication. Marianne Perron, 2010.


Warren G. Flowers Art Gallery, Dawson College, 4001 de Maisonneuve Ouest, through February 27.

 

La vida Dulce March 18, 2009

Filed under: Culture & Society, Hipster Culture, Musings — Marianne Perron @ 10:18 am

Just as the first signs of spring are beginning to crack on the horizon, fellow blogger Kimberly and I are off to where sunshine and tequila are a permanent fixture. Yup, we’re off to Mexico with our backpacks and tanning oil (Kim) and a stack of newly published Canadian books to get through (me). Our plan is to head for silver haven, the small town of Taxco, where we’ll mingle with the locals and scope out their artwork, before heading out to the beach. Once there, we plan to laze around on the beach for days with our fancy drinks, books, and bikinis. OK, so I don’t actually own a bikini. Thank God. Finally, we’ll head to the town of Oaxaca, reputed to be Mexican hipster central. Hopefully we’ll be able to integrate with the locals and report back with an in-depth guide to being a Mexican hipster. Maybe we’ll even learn how to say hipster in Spanish.

Photo courtesy of YUCATAN BLUE REALTY

Photo courtesy of YUCATAN BLUE REALTY

 

Words Are Meaningless March 9, 2009

Filed under: Culture & Society, Language, Neighbourhood, Performance — Marianne Perron @ 12:56 pm

This weekend I finally left my new NDG home for something that wasn’t work or grocery shopping. That’s right. I’ve a) relocated to the depths of NDG, b) been a recluse all winter, and c) finally participated in a social activity. What could it possibly be that would draw a hermetic literary blogger with a comfort food addiction (and belly) out into the world? Why poetry, of course. And not just any poetry. Zen poetry.

 

This weekend I volunteered to assist at Centre Zen de la Main’s second biannual Zen Poetry Festival, right here in our lovely city. The theme of this year’s festival was Forget the Words, a reminder that only when the poet can transcend semantics can poetry really happen; in the Zen world at least – call your egoistic, affected ramblings poetry if you must.

 

The weekend-long festival began with a pre-festival poetry reading by Sina Queyras, Oana Avasilichioaei, David O’Meara. Erín Moure and Ian Orti, at which the host got deliriously tipsy and showed that even Zen practitioners know how to have fun. Following that were workshops, discussion panels, poetry readings, a literary brunch, and even Zazen, for those keen to participate.

 

I stood guard at the book table, had my idea of poetry challenged, and even made a couple of new friends! Imagine that. Overall a very pleasant affair. Hopefully the festival will be held again in 2011, as planned.

 

Grasshopper Reads February 18, 2009

Filed under: Books & Mags, Culture & Society, Language — Marianne Perron @ 11:37 pm

grasshopper1

 

Interested in the up-and-coming, innovative, indie and underground? Obsessed with (or at least occasionally entertained by) good literature? Not sure where to get the scoop on who’s writing what, who’s publishing whom, and who the cool kids are reading? Fret not, Tragically Unhip wunderkind Marianne Perron to the rescue! OK, so that’s obviously me, the Unhipster whose words of wisdom you’ve come to love and trust, branching out into a whole new arena. That’s right, I’ve got a lot to say about a whole lot more than fashion and whatnot.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado—Grasshopper Reads! Grasshopper is me, and what I’m reading is contemporary Canadian Lit by some of Canada’s smaller presses. Welcome to the hottest inauguration since B.H.O. And sure as Obama’s got a mama, this blog is HOT!

 

My main objective with this project is to acquire and distribute knowledge about Canada’s smaller presses and writers, and spread the word about what’s going on in our country’s literary scene. I invite you now to check out the site, paying special attention to our poetry section, where I will be showcasing new and local talent. This month’s poet is the very talented (and delightful) Jessica Dolan, who has been a great help to me in editing my own work. Also featured are reviews of work by Lola Lemire Tostevin, Jennica Harper, Carolyn Marie Souaid, and Andrew Hood.

 

So, check out the site and let me know what you think. Bookmark us, pass the word along to other literary types, and READ! And if you or anyone you know is interested in writing reviews, having your poetry showcased, or drawing my attention to fab writers, please contact me; I’d be happy to chat online or off.

 

Indie Art February 10, 2009

Filed under: Art — Marianne Perron @ 11:39 am
Photo by Sarah L.

Image courtesy of Sarah L.

I can’t get enough of Sarah L. I’ve blogged about her site before. Updates are less frequent then one would hope, but you can go into her archives and discover all kinds of neat drawings and cartoons. Now she’s taking over the position of indie artist in residence over at Broken Pencil, where she directs attention to interesting articles, educational entertainment, and other indie art finds.

 

Looking for other ways to pass the Canadian winter? My friend Keith Waterfield took to making hand-crafted puppets for his friends and family. A big hit, he’s now decided to branch out and custom make puppets on commission. The future looks bright for Crofacius Creations – a movie deal is in the works!

 

How’s the Weather? January 31, 2009

Filed under: Language, Musings — Marianne Perron @ 10:23 pm

Up there? Down under, outside? Folks, I am a 25-year-old woman and I get paid to talk about the weather. Am I a weather forecaster? Nope. I am a private English instructor. It  just so happens that the majority of my clients are being trained to talk about the weather. In the books we use for instruction, entire chapters are devoted to the weather. As the levels progress, the words increase in complexity. Single-syllable cues like sun and rain turn into more complex conditions like balmy and bitter. So where does that leave me? A sun-starved SADist to be sure, glancing out the window of my little classroom and prompting my clients with the time-tested line of small talkers everywhere: “Some weather we’re having”.  

 

With the thermometer dipping to -30 for several days this month, it’s no wonder bloggers like Kimberly and I are finding little else to blog about. Indeed, the cold snap has pretty much destroyed my identity, as I forget my fashion self and clomp around the streets in Fargo Sorels and an enormous red Santa suit. When I’m not busy braving the cold (and now nearly twice as long) commute to work, I’m sleeping my days away and piling on the winter pounds. Alas, dear reader there is hope—for Kim and I escape to Mexico next month!  

 

Recessionista Fashion January 25, 2009

Filed under: Books & Mags, Culture & Society, Fashion, Language, Money, Musings, Shopping — Marianne Perron @ 6:31 pm

A true word I read in this month’s edition of Vogue, recessionista, captures everything the modern woman should be—or does it? The article in question was yet another piece about a modern day trend I don’t understand: the clothing swap. Maybe it’s because all my has-been threads get demoted to gym wear status or donated to charity, and, being an oniomaniac, I keep my closet stocked with pieces I love, but the swap party fails to appeal to me. Add to that the fact that, at size 12 (thank you Club Monaco), I rarely fit into the petite fashions being auctioned, so you can see why I’ve been known to choose dinner with grandma over the swap scene.

 

courtesy of NeimanMarcus.com

Photo courtesy of NeimanMarcus.com

That said, I did enjoy the article. It’s entertaining, if nothing else, to muse about what swap parties are like among the dolce vita set, the Kate Spade/Louboutin-sporting women it’s aimed at. Honey, if I owned a Dior handbag, I would not be trading it in, I’d be clinging to it for dear life among the debris that is our current economic flow.

 

After I’d put down the magazine and trudged home in the January snow, I got to thinking. Recessionista, a bug that had snagged my eye upon first read, came back and lodged itself in my mind. Normally, I’m crazy about linguistic acrobatics. Anyone who’s read my poetry knows I invent words and coin phrases like it’s nobody’s business. Recessionista. I even like the way it sounds. Sort of chic and regal, not at all financial crisis.

 

The more I thought about it though, the more the word made me feel sick. Don’t get me wrong—I love fashion. I love fashion and I have a shopping problem. Still, the idea of taking something very serious and turning it into a light amuse-gueule made me ponder the kind of thinking that got us into the mess to begin with. I think “recessionista” says it all: trying to plaster a fake face on a rotten corpse and keep the good times coming. While I do think today’s fashion vixen should be more economically minded, and it’s only smart to promote thrift in times of recession, the word seems to signify something beyond itself. It hints at the flawed state of American thinking—that although the ship is sinking, the pageant will go on. 

 

Beauty and the Beast December 21, 2008

Filed under: Fashion, Health, Money, Musings, Shopping, Things We Have Love/Hate Relationships With — Marianne Perron @ 10:15 pm

OK. I’ll admit it. Despite being way too intelligent for this shit, I am a bona fide shopaholic. My trusty Wikipedia tells me that this condition is called Oniomania (naw, that’s not just code for onion-chowing lunatics), and “can have devastating consequences”. Thanks, Wiki.

 

If shopping is an addiction, my drug is something like cocaine – I can’t afford the really fine stuff, but I’m not smoking crack down at Zellers either. I’m hovering somewhere in between, in a world where $300 dollar handbags and Modern American Poetry (that’s a 300-level class at Concordia) see eye to eye.

 

When I was in University I used to pay about $280 for rent and roughly $300 per 3 credits. That’s how my MPT (maximum purchase total) came to be raised to 3-0-0, give or take $45 for tax. You see, anything that I wanted badly enough to pout over got compared to those torturous 200-level requisite courses, like Intro to Lit. Theory with Dr. D. O’Leary.

 

Now that I’ve graduated, and bring in the (slightly) bigger bucks, I can afford the $500 rent I pay for my well-situated, much too small, paper-thin walls. As a result, my MPT has risen accordingly. Because, hell, if my landlady deserves my hard-earned cash, then I deserve that Mackage.

 

So, what’s the point of this piece? To confess that I’m in trouble. Since working with my therapist to curb my other obsessions, shopping has come to play an increasingly bigger role in my so-called life. The result? A bank account that’s constantly on empty, and a wardrobe that is too fabulous to keep behind doors. This would all be fine if I was your average Betty, but truth be told, I suffer from enough conscience to know my behavior is sick, given the condition of our wilting planet. This leaves me feeling a lot like a rotten tooth – pretty on the outside, but oh so deteriorated inside.

 

And hence, my New Year’s resolution! Yes. To quit shopping cold turkey. Because really, how many pounds of silver does one little doe need? With you as my witnesses, I move forward into the year of thrift! Luckily, this won’t require any drastic purification rituals like clothes burning, or jewelry hawking. And I’ve got enough Nars hydrating moisture cream to last me through the winter. 

 

Get Your Sax On December 15, 2008

Filed under: Music, Neighbourhood, Nightlife — Marianne Perron @ 10:06 am

Where can hip cats go to scope out up-and-coming music from (as of yet) undiscovered talent? Why Parc des Princes, of course. OK, so I’ve actually never heard of this place before, and have no idea what kind of strays it draws in on a regular night, but this Wednesday it’s where the music is at. It’s a musical debut as New Yorker-cum-Montrealer Brajah Waldman brings the fruits of a lifetime’s labor to the stage.

 

No stranger to public performance, Waldman, a jazz-crazed tomcat if ever I’ve met one, has been known to hold court with his sax on Montreal streets during the tourist months, and has been improvising alongside Montreal’s Serial Numbers for over a year. This is the first time, however, that Waldman brings his own work to the spotlight. December 17th the quartet, which includes pianist Damon Hankoff, bassist Martin Heslop, and drummer Daniel Gelinas, goes on at Parc des Princes. The show starts at 8:30 and is free of charge. Those wary of getting hit with another dose of the holiday season’s nauseous jazz need not fear—this sound promises to be kind to your ear.

 

Those interested by the music can catch Waldman in action north and south of the border this season. New Year’s Day he’s scheduled to perform with his aunt, revered Beat-era poet Anne Waldman, at the St. Mark’s Poetry Project’s 35th Annual Marathon Reading in New York’s East Village. (FYI Lee Ranaldo and Patti Smith also take the stage that day.) January 8th he hits the stage with Serial Numbers at Montreal’s L’escalier. Otherwise, you can hunt him down on Montreal street corners, as I’ve been known to do.

 

How It Came to Be That I Fell Off the Face of the Earth December 14, 2008

Filed under: City Living, Musings — Marianne Perron @ 12:38 pm

It’s winter. My front stairs are covered in a solid sheet of ice. Despite my job being all-consuming I have twenty dollars in my bank account, and for the first time in 5 (or is it 6?) years, I have a boyfriend. 

 

Excited to socialize and see all the friends I’ve been ignoring, I planned this weekend to be action-packed and busy buzzing. What ended up happening both Friday and Saturday nights is that I was fed dangerously caloric meals by the boyfriend and fell asleep on my couch at 10:00 or so, while he watched something terribly unfunny on TV. 

 

Yes, it’s December. Christmas time, and the holidays are one long chain of parties, shows, and yummy food-related social events. And yet, I’m about as likely to leave the house for any of this stuff as, well, my grandmother.

 

How Not To Eat Persimmons November 19, 2008

Filed under: Food, Health, How-To — Marianne Perron @ 11:30 pm

 

Courtesy of Wikipedia

Courtesy of Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

I was delighted when I found the funky orange fruit for 99 cents down at the neighborhood PA. It seemed so novel and exotic, even to my jaded eyes. So I picked one up, brought it home, and left it atop the microwave to ripen.

 

When at last the fruit was soft, I realized I had no idea how to eat it. So I Wikied it. Peel and eat like an apple. Seemed easy enough. Persimmons are yummy. They don’t have much flavor, but they’re a juicy plump consistency, and super sweet.

 

I gobbled mine up in about 30 seconds. Once I was done I paused long enough to notice a strange, tingling sensation in my mouth. I waited for it to subside, but it only increased. Before long my entire mouth was prickly, sandy, and swollen. I could feel my throat starting to tingle as it does when I’m having an allergy.

 

Freaked, I dashed to my roommate (a training nurse) for assistance. Her cure? One Benadryl and lights out for kitty. I mean, goodnight.

 

Forget the Words! November 19, 2008

Filed under: Books & Mags, Music, Nightlife, Performance — Marianne Perron @ 10:57 pm

 

image0013

 

Montreal’s Centre Zen de la Main over on Vallières Street (yes, that’s Leonard Cohen’s old place) presents it’s second Zen Poetry Festival from March 6-8 2009. The 2007 festival was an exciting weekend full of rich ideas, great poetry, and more than a few interesting guests. Among those speaking or hosting events were Chinese and Sanskrit scholar and translator Red Pine, and famous Beat poet Joanne Kyger. I was lucky enough to get into Kyger’s poetry workshop, where I got to write about how much I hate coming across used condoms on the sidewalk. Ick. 

 

This Sunday the centre will host “The Friends of the Festival Fundraiser” at Casa del Popolo in order to raise much needed dough for the second round. And guess who’s a friend of the festival? That’s right, moi. Readers are encouraged to come out and support the festival (et moi) and enjoy an evening of poetry, music, and spoken word. My first book of poetry, Slip Limbed, will be available that evening with all profits going towards the Zen Centre.

 

Purrrfect November 19, 2008

Filed under: Fashion, Musings, Shopping — Marianne Perron @ 10:36 pm

My new earmuffs are not only warm and fuzzy, they do a fine job of blocking out the conversation I would otherwise be subject to while crossing through the McGill ghetto. In my happy mind those McGill girls are discussing poetry, not gushing about how (ohmygod!) drunk they got last Saturday night. Two days into their season, these pups (sorry, pun in poor taste) have already gotten many compliments. I’ve even had to give out directions to the Harricana headquarters on Atwater. All that, and I’ve only had to sheepishly explain that recycled fur is OK once.

 

UPS? UP yourS! November 13, 2008

Filed under: City Living, Etiquette, Fashion, Shopping — Marianne Perron @ 10:35 pm

I recently made a frivolous purchase. See, I just had to have this fabulous, leather, Mackage jacket in black. The problem is, it’s from last fall’s line and is sold out pretty much everywhere. Then I found it online. And on sale. Having little funds of my own, I did what any girl on my block would do: I begged my daddy to let me use his credit card. No easy task, but I succeeded. Then I sent it out to a buddy in NYC via UPS. 

 

Photo courtesy of Kaboodle

Photo courtesy of Kaboodle

Now, you’d think that UPS would take their clients into consideration when making deliveries, but no such luck. Being paranoid as heck, I obsessively tracked the package online for 48 hours. The first delivery attempt occurred while my buddy was at work. Maybe a roommate got the door, but the UPS man labeled this an “exception”. Online I read the description: no such person at this address. 

 

Freaking out I called UPS and tried to clarify things. I spoke to about four different agents and departments, found out you can’t pull a switcheroo and order your package to Canada in the middle of the game, that you need a signed note to make a pick-up for somebody else, and that the pick-up service is a) in the middle of no-man’s-land, NY, and b) only open from 9-5 Monday thru Friday. 

 

My friend being a working man, he could neither pull a Ferris Bueller nor stick around all hours waiting for UPS to come a-knockin’. So we decided to hold our breaths, and hope the UPS man would find one of his roommates home on day 2. 

 

Well, what actually happened was that somebody buzzed the UPS man into the lobby, where he decided to leave my parcel in a safe little place—the middle of everywhere. That’s right. He used his fine judgment to leave a large box unattended to in the lobby of an apartment building. In Brooklyn. I won’t even tell you what this jacket is worth. When my friend came home 6 hours later, he found the parcel and emailed me in awe. I just couldn’t believe it. UPS almost cost me a pretty penny. Which is why I decided to make a move for a new section of this blog: the Up Yours section.

 

Samaritan’s Purse November 10, 2008

Filed under: Culture & Society — Marianne Perron @ 11:55 pm

I may not agree with their religious beliefs, but a great idea came in the form of a community project from my parent’s church. The project, organized by Samaritan’s Purse Canada, is Operation Christmas Child, and aims to provide less fortunate children around the world with Christmas gifts. The concept is simple: fill a shoebox with affordable gifts, wrap it in Christmas paper, and send it off to Samaritan’s Purse Canada along with a $7 donation.  

 

Seeing as how the proposal came from my parent’s Rosemount church, it was no surprise to discover that the project is overseen by a Christian organization. A little investigation on their website confirmed my original suspicions: the children are encouraged to participate in a voluntary Bible study program, and are brought joy through “the message of God’s unconditional love.”

 

Not one to support the evangelisation of poor peoples, I thought about what participating meant for me. Then I decided that the possibility of providing even just one child with a box full of treats at a time that can be utterly depressing (as I consider the holiday season to be) was worth it. Which is why I’m writing about this. I guess my opinion is that there are much worse things than Bible study programs. 

 

So for anyone willing to overlook the religious ties, I encourage clicking on to the SP website, reading about the project, and getting involved. The directions are easy to follow, and boy/girl labels are available for printing in order to separate the boxes into appropriate groups. Directions to drop off centers are available on-line, or for anyone interested, I’m willing to accept boxes and deliver them to the Rosemount Bible Church along with mine.

 

Soliloquies November 10, 2008

Filed under: Books & Mags, Nightlife, Performance — Marianne Perron @ 2:13 pm

Concordia’s student-run anthology, Soliloquies, launches issue 12.1 this Friday night. While I can’t make promises about the type of talent that will be on display that night, I can guarantee the proximity of good beer—the better to drown your sorrows in, my dear. Seriously though, past launches have been fun (and sometimes noisy) showcases of real talent, humor poetry, and music. The anthologies are usually cheap enough not to eat into your beer money, the ladies still in that sexually experimental stage of development, and the sets short and sweet. Oh, and prepare to be blown away by my own reading.

 

Here are the deets:

WHEN: Friday, November 14, 2008, 
7-11 p.m.



WHERE: Centre St. Ambroise, 
5080-A rue St-Ambroise



HOW TO GET THERE:

-Place St-Henri Metro station (About 15 minutes walking distance)


- Bus: 36 or 191 (on Notre-Dame W.) from Place St-Henri Metro
. Exit: St-Rémi St./Notre-Dame


OR
 From the Lionel-Groulx Metro, take Bus 78. 
Exit: St-Rémi, corner St-Ambroise, turn right


OR From Vendome Metro, take Bus 37. 
Exit: Côte St-Paul, corner St-Ambroise, turn left



Have a bike? It’s on the Montreal bike path, alongside the Lachine Canal.

 

Eastern Bloc Party November 3, 2008

Filed under: Dance, Hipster Culture, Musings, Nightlife — Marianne Perron @ 3:08 pm

It seemed to be the evening cap on everybody’s Hallowe’en party list this year. Depending on which circle I asked, it was referred to by different names: the hipster party, the Google man’s party, the punk-rock party, and finally, correctly identified by Mike Farsky as Eastern Bloc’s “Invitation to Blood” Party. With a $5 cover.

 

I don’t normally celebrate Hallowe’en. This year I didn’t make plans until past 5:00, when it dawned on me that I needed some serious distraction from an email sent without passing the Breathalyzer. By this point I had everybody’s party stops committed to memory, absolutely no ideas for a costume, and very little motivation. I decided to put on a hat and go as a Lady. And which lady is best known for her stylish pill-box hats? Why, Jackie-O, of course. Owning sunglasses and a little suit, I decided to go the very easy route.

 

I was putting on my makeup when a wave of inspiration hit. I dashed to the closet, pulled out a sixties print-dress covered in vines and wild purple flowers I had never had occasion to wear, along with MAC’s bright green eye shadow (circa 1998), plucked a stray leaf in my hair, and called myself a venus flytrap.

 

My friends had move inventive costumes. I was greeted by a dead waitress carrying an enlarged hand upon a platter, an asparagus, and a very bold (and very cold) Eve. We sat around a friend’s place applying makeup, smoking cigarettes, and drinking until way past midnight. Then we decided to brave the cold and head up to the Bloc.

 

When we got to the party there was a fire truck parked outside, firefighters dashing up the block, and a crowd of what some of us like to call hipsters. We were prevented from entering by the enormous line that snaked up three flights of stairs, down another, and wound up outside. Oh, and what a total freekshow.

 

I looked at the elaborate costumes around me, and realized I was alone in my lack of Hallowe’en enthusiasm. I felt queasy just thinking about all the real blood that was potentially masquerading itself as fake, and was not too keen on waiting in line to pay $5 to be in a costume-crowded warehouse.

 

We stood around wondering what to do. Within minutes however, our question was answered. Bodies started streaming out of the building (among them a few familiar faces), carrying an ominous message with them: The police is shutting the party down. That took care of the line-up.

 

We went upstairs and decided to peek in. We found the door unguarded, and saved ourselves the cover. The lights were on, revealing a motley crowd of costumed partygoers. I suspect many of them were on drugs. The DJ had been stopped and the room was filled instead with the sound of synchronized stomping. These people were pumped and ready to dance!

 

We decided to walk around and scope out the scene. I was pretty glad to have the lights on to reveal who I was bumping into. There were some boring costumes, but a lot of creative ones. One girl looked like some sort of witch. Her hair was slicked into position with thick white paint and her shirt was covered with sewed-on gauzy, white… sandbags? Another girl dressed as an equestrian came up and whipped my behind repeatedly with her riding crop. A young male gymnast rocked some American Apparel gear. There were lots of drag queens, bloody messes, and hippies, a unibrowed Frida Kahlo, a cute Ritchie Tennenbaum, and a Gameboy. My favorite moment was when a blue-man Tobias (wearing cut-offs!) caught my friends by surprise. They both tried to cover up their inability to recognize the face for several seconds before finally making the connection.

 

After about 10 minutes the lights went off and the DJ started up again. The crowd went crazy. Everybody launched into serious bad-ass dance mode, while we looked on. We didn’t really feel like part of the scene, and after another 10 minutes we were ready to hit the road. We made our way through the room and out to the front door, where the $5 cover fee was being resumed.

 

Just as we were about to leave there was a small commotion. A “security” guard locked the front door, sent everybody back up, and informed us that we’d have to exit out the back way. I was pissed. But not as pissed as I was when I found myself out back – struggling through a crowded dung-heap. My high-heels kept getting caught in the soil, several costumes jabbed me in the ribs, a dog sniffed at my crotch, I almost got caught in the torn fence we had to climb through, and I was certain we were wading through piles of discarded syringes. Finally, we broke free and I uttered the words that I’m sure will haunt me year after year — I hate Hallowe’en. 

 

Kimono Kraze October 19, 2008

Filed under: Sex, Shopping — Marianne Perron @ 7:54 pm
http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/gallery/condoms.html?g=0

Condom dress photo courtesy of Canada.com

The sudden increase in my sexual activity has recently seen me join the search for the perfect condom. My inability to use birth control caused my partner to voice concerns about the prospect of a sex life forever dulled by latex, and encouraged me to help him find one that, er, fits like a glove. After testing out a few varieties, and exchanging notes with my girlfriends, I was sent out in search of the Kimono. The Kimono micro-thin condom is a Japanese import that advertises itself as being the thinnest available with 100% of the protection offered by an American slim.

Not knowing where else to turn, I entered the maze-like corridor of McGill’s Brown Building, and, feeling a bit like a rat in a laboratory experiment, I sniffed out my final destination. OK, so I was actually being led by little arrows and not my instinct for hunting out cheese, but the prize was in fact hidden at the furthest point in the building, and was incredibly complicated to track.

Once inside McGill’s Shagalicious Shop, I gasped for air and gesticulated wildly. “I’ve been sent in search of the Kimono!” I declared, certain that the attendant would be amused by my antics. She barely glanced up from her computer screen, but her eyes and brows were enough to communicate how unimpressed she was. “You’ve what?” I was forced to repeat my mission in less grandiose terms.

Lethargically, she walked over to a display of foreign looking condoms and picked out the Kimono. She was about to walk away, but I caught her attention once again, and inquired about the Kimono’s rumored super powers. She explained that the Kimono was in fact snug as a bug, 40% thinner than other condoms, and, yes, guaranteed to have the same protection. She recommended the Aqualube version, and wished me luck. I was satisfied with her pitch and very pleased with the 50 cent price tag on one Kimono. Now that’s a cheap ride. I grabbed a bunch, and all but skipped the rest of the way home. The fresh autumn air was crisp, and the day was promising.

But how, you ask, does the Kimono fare in the sack? Well, no complaints so far.

 

Wear With Pride? October 18, 2008

Filed under: Culture & Society, Fashion, Musings — Marianne Perron @ 8:58 pm

Photo courtesy of Palms & Company

 

Fur. Once a coveted luxury item, it was the staple of our grandmother’s winter closets: thick, full-length furs, elaborate stoles made from whole animals, leather gloves accented with tufts of tail, and of course, the fashion shapka.

 

In today’s animal rights-conscious world, fur has moved from being enviable to being one of the forward-minded’s cardinal sins. But in the fashion world, fur continues to poke its little head. Check out the catwalks and magazines, and you’ll see a salute to the fashions of our ancestors in the form of fur-everything. Yes, we’ve come a long way, but baby, it ain’t over yet.

 

Google “fur protests” and you’ll be overcome with images and words attempting to dissuade the market. Visit the PETA website and you can read about a campaign to protest Donna Karan’s use of real fur in her designs. The brief description the site provides of the treatment suffered by fur-giving animals was enough to turn my stomach. I instantly regretted the many leather purses and shoes lining my closet. At no time does the question of fur seem more relevant than in the face of another Canadian winter.

 

Which brings me to my topic: recycled fur. This is a movement I’ve been pondering since falling in love with a pair of (real) lynx earmuffs at Ogilvy’s the other day. This is not simply a question of luxury and economy (the muffs cost a pretty penny), but it has become, for me, an ethical issue. The muffs and neighbouring accessories all bore the tag Harricana.

 

Harricana is Quebec designer Mariouche Gagné’s cruelty-free label. As the website explains, the idea for the label was born while Gagné was still a student. Lacking funds, as many students do, she used her mother’s old fur coat to complete an award-winning design. Today Harricana creates coats, hats, and accessories from recycled fur. The furs are salvaged from thrift stores, Salvation Army depots, and other fashion cemeteries, and transformed through special treatments into loveable, animal-friendly styles. But how animal-friendly is it really? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself.

 

Which is the greater evil? To flaunt and revel in the natural softness of our animals’ skins, a behaviour that encourages the fur industry regardless of the creativity of the designer’s resources, or to condemn vintage furs to Garbage Island, something that feels a lot like throwing meat away? Is recycled fur simply a way to distance ourselves from the evil by a couple of degrees, or can it really be a step forward for the fashion industry?

 

On the one hand, there is the idea that the slaughtering of animals can be acceptable, an idea that is propagated when an individual dons fur, no matter what the source. Nobody knows if what you’re wearing is recycled or not. They just see the fur, and the message it sends out is “Fur is in,” which translates quickly into “faster pussycat, kill, kill.” This side of the argument recognizes that killing animals is cruel, and refuses to forgive that cruelty simply because it was committed pre-enlightenment.

 

On the other hand, there is the idea that clothing—not just clothing, but fashion—can be evolved to match the growing eco-friendly trend in other industries. This take on couture promotes the recycling of fabrics and materials, the abolition of slave labour, and the minimization of environmental abuse. This is a big step up for an industry based on excess. (It’s undeniable; artistic medium, form of self-expression or not, fashion is excess. The desire to decorate the body is, as modernists would say, ornamentation, and ornamentation is the desire for excess.) This camp is for the reuse of materials that are available to us, as a replacement for new fur, and hopes to transform the industry by modeling a different code of ethics. 

 

This leads to many questions. Like, can this do-as-I-do technique be good for something? Can companies like Harricana become the fashion houses of the future? Can we, as a society, be instigated to move from the realm of reckless consumption and into that of conscious consumption? Can recycled fur be seen as a way of saying, “Hey, we’ve done the shit we’ve done, we’ve fucked the whole thing up, now let’s put our heads back on and roll with it.”? Or is it just another excuse? This little fashionista simply does not know. And so, I encourage you readers to give me your feedback: to fur, or not to fur? 

 

A Stronger Prescription, Please! October 1, 2008

Filed under: Nightlife — Marianne Perron @ 3:27 pm

After my post about not being able to grab seating at Baldwin’s Barmacie last Friday night, I received this email from a close friend who shall remain anonymous:

“I was at Baldwin’s Barmacie on Friday for my friend X’s party and I hated it in there! I thought it was super lame, but maybe that’s because I belong in dive bars like Copa or something. But there’s hardly room to manoeuvre! And the music! And the awful people! Suffice it to say, I left there after about five minutes and headed off to Copa where I could sit in a dark corner with tons of room and a great view of all the coke addicts.”

So it seems that my friends are way cooler than I am, and as a result, the Tragically Unhip got their review of the Barmacie after all.

 

Pilot Light September 29, 2008

Filed under: Nightlife, Performance — Marianne Perron @ 11:04 am

Last night was the first Pilot of the new school season. The Pilot, for those not in the know, is a Montreal reading series hosted by the folks at Matrix magazine. The series runs monthly, taking the summer off, and is usually held at Blizzarts on Sunday evenings. Readers give the crowd a taste of the poetry and fiction in their newly released books, make jokes about their published works lists, and, sometimes, get kinda drunk. 

 

This is a great series for those wishing to look literary and cool, or break into the Montreal poetry scene. It’s actually quite a small community, and while it appears daunting at first, most writers are happy to share a drink with an aspiring nobody, give tips about how to score grant money, and trade quips about obscure literature. 

 

Those skeptical about poetry readings will be reassured to know that nobody ever wears berets, sound poets are few and far between, and the Beat generation is pretty much buried. Instead, today’s poets are a breed influenced by the folks at McSweeney’s. They tend to use the word fuck a lot, have eclectic and razor-sharp knowledge of all things hip, and prefer tough language to floral. Of course, not everyone falls into this category, and The Pilot does an excellent job of gathering writers of different styles and stripes, so there’s bound to be something that appeals to all.

 

Barmaceutical Bounce September 28, 2008

Filed under: Nightlife — Marianne Perron @ 7:44 pm

So far, my attempts to kick it at Mile End hotspot Baldwin’s Barmacie have yielded little success. The first time was with fellow bloggers Gen and Kimberlily one crisp December’s eve. After walking blocks in the snow and cold, we decided that getting funky en queue with a slew of ice queens was not our cup. So we turned around and headed north again, stopping at the Whisky Café for our Mojitos.

 

Almost a year later, I once again sucked it up and decided to enter the cooler-than-cool B.B. for another try. This time it was still quite early (no later than 10:30), and I was pleased to see only a small group of smokers outside the door. I entered with my date. Once inside, I was impressed by the volume of the music, which was high enough to encourage chillin’ but not loud enough to impede conversation. The tables and stools were chic white leather, and close enough for intimate exchanges among friends. The crowd was laid back, well-dressed, and hip.

 

We decided to seat ourselves at an empty table in the back, but to our disappointment the perfect spot had a little white card embossed with a stylish gold R. Reserved. One by one we approached every empty table, and were greeted in turn by an army of little gold R’s. Suddenly I felt horribly like a have-not. A server passed us and smiled. I squinted in suspicion. Was he sneering at us? And what about the laughter and mirth around us? Was it not also a little gloating? Quickly, I grabbed my date’s arm and shrugged. In these situations it’s best to save face by not giving a fuck. “Shall we?” I gestured toward the door. And just like that, we were off.

 

Paper Thin Hotel September 26, 2008

Filed under: City Living, Home — Marianne Perron @ 4:38 pm

As I sit, pensively contemplating my latest writing project, my brain irately pulses under foreign attack. What could possibly be causing this dirt-poor poet to writhe in torment? Why, the wretched dance club-wannabe beats thumping from the apartment next door, that’s what. You see, despite the fact that we pay $1000 in rent, my roommate and I have very little privacy. It seems that in converting the beautiful old home into a series of marketable apartments, the owners skimped on the most important material of all—insulation.

 

I quickly learned that the quiet I had briefly enjoyed at the start of my stay here was just an illusion. My roommate doesn’t complain much about noise, which leads me to believe that my room is poorly located in the heart of the building—a sound-sensitive torture dome nestled among everyone else’s pleasure. 

 

The first time I felt tempted to use the decorative saw that hangs on my wall was one Saturday night, a few weeks after I moved in. The frat boys upstairs were having a party that raged through the night. From my bed I could hear their living room/porch activities clearer than my own heartbeat. Later, when they took to chasing each other up and down the stairs, my roommate and I prayed that the landlord would exit and beat them.

 

But, alas, the landlords were away! This I discovered upon their return. You see, the previously quiet apartment downstairs became an echo chamber once its inhabitants returned. I kid thee not, I could actually make out entire telephone conversations from the comfort of my own bed, to say nothing of the baby-talk the landlady occasionally assaults her grandchild with.

 

Upstairs I have Mr. Schlong. A heavy-set, blonde Russ, short, with a disturbingly Suidae face. From my bedroom I can hear his romantic romps, exercise routine, and varied grunts of dis/pleasure. Aside from this, Mr. S is responsible for a dull, whirring sound that often invades my chamber. Baffled by this mechanical sound, which usually comes at night and continues until dawn, I often lie with my head between two pillows and curse.

 

But the worst addition by far, is my next-door neighbor, Miss Euro Beat. Miss Euro B. moved in at the end of August. Prior to that the apartment had been blissfully empty and sound-free. During the last week or so of August I began to hear conversations and paint-rollers from next door. I knew I was in trouble right away. And boy was I right. The moment her couch was installed, Miss Euro began to torment me. First came the loud, shrill telephone marathons at night. Next it was laughing fits with her roommate (or girlfriend) at one a.m. And finally—just when I thought it could get no worse—Friday night. Club night. In anticipation, Miss Euro Beat begins to pump her favorite tunes at, oh, around 3:30 in the afternoon. It just so happens that my bedroom is connected to her living room. While my roommate can hear the music from her room across the hall, she misses out on the fun vibrations which rattle my possessions and skull.

 

One day I came home just as Miss Euro was exiting her place with her boyfriend. I was not surprised to see a long-haired, fake-nailed, orange-y club girl teetering in 5-inch heels. You know, the frosted lipstick, foxxxxx look. Her man made less of an impression on me; he is caught in my memory as a quick blur of black and goatee.

 

So, there you have it. 

 

Torn Vinyl September 21, 2008

Filed under: Dance, Nightlife — Marianne Perron @ 4:37 pm

I always wondered about the little club tucked among the decrepit buildings on Bleury just north of the Place-des-Arts metro station. I used to pass it on the 80 south and was, intrigued, by the scratch red lettering that announced the little hole’s presence on the block. Well, I finally got my chance to check it out after a friend dragged me there this Saturday night.

 

I naively dolled myself up in a vintage frock, M*A*C So Scarlet lipstick, and Betty Boop heels. I looked hot. After stopping off at Brutopia for a surprise birthday party where a dozen half-strangers and myself dug communally into a Dairy Queen ice cream cake (no piece of cake for a recovering OCD sufferer), I bravely faced the chilly walk over to Bleury.

 

Once there I shuddered at the entrance, a dirt-smudged door nestled beside a rotting staircase, a mound of garbage, and what I suspect might be a café. The “bouncer” (or so I imagine, he may in reality have been a straggling smoker) was a tall, muscular man dressed in faded overalls and a white t-shirt. Unlike the puff pastries outside places on St. Laurent, this man looked like a force not to be reckoned with. We nodded our respects and slipped inside. 

 

My first thought upon entering the club was “oh fuck.” It was small, dark, and dingy. A modest gathering of badass dancers claimed the floor, forming a circle around a young man doing The Streets-worthy moves. OK, the music pumping was good. No, excellent. The beat was strong, the volume was just loud enough, and whoever was mixing the grooves was on the ball. No complaints as far as music goes. But the club. Oh, dear.

 

Dirty, heavily-stained 50’s couches were grouped around Value Village tables. Their insides were gutted, their bottoms were saggy, and their aesthetic was Dumpster Chic. The “bar” was nothing more than a dilapidated counter with rusty stools and a cute bar wench handing out tiny cups. The artwork was pornographic, and the low ceiling threatened to collapse. But by far the worst aspect was the floor. It was composed of a patchwork pattern of old, rotting plywood. Creaky, soft, and overlapping in dangerous snags, it barely seemed strong enough to sustain the weight of the denizens grooving their flexible bodies like it was nobody’s business. Later, I moved onto the actual dance floor and realized that the plywood there was not only sagging, but completely on the verge of giving way in very important places. Like, right underneath the circle’s centre, where b-boys were spinning and popping. No shit. I was amazed we didn’t all fall through into the center of the earth.

 

When it came time to grab a seat, I cringed. My cute little outfit didn’t really do a good job of covering my bum, so I could actually feel the horrible fabric creeping up to the edge of my panties. I felt faint with horror thinking of what unknown stains and strains the (absorbent) material was home to. I felt bad telling my excited, adorable friend that I hated the joint, but not bad enough to keep from frankly blurting it out to his two girlfriends the moment he left to purchase drinks. Once he returned, I snuggled up and purred that I’d like to sit on his lap please. The plan worked—my bum was saved!

 

Between cigarettes, my companions sipped drinks and prepared to hit the dance floor. I was paralyzed with awe at the moves being pulled out there, and dreaded taking my awkward, no-rhythm body into the circle. But no way was I going to stay there alone on the couch, squeamishly watching the purses that the two lovely ladies attempted to disguise beneath a large white poncho. They were afraid, you see, of leaving anything of value in the line of wandering eyes. When they got up, I got up, and slowly swayed my fabulously-outfitted body while clutching my own purse underneath my arm.

 

Later, I broke free and went to explore the back room. It was an abandoned corner that smelled of stale semen and something like cats. From a sealed doorway I could see the terrace—a back-alley gathering of ancient chairs and cigarette-burned tables. I turned around, and an employee (or so I gathered after seeing him skittishly prowl the room for stray glasses) shook his head no. No access. I nodded, arched my back, and crept away. I was glad to discover that after accidentally stepping on the wrong foot—more specifically on that of an old fedora-wearing godfather who silently watched the proceedings from the prime couch—my group was making an escape. Feeling a little Sex in the City I gathered up my skirts, put my best shoe forward, and exited.

  

 

Rent Control September 19, 2008

Filed under: City Living, Home, Money, Musings — Marianne Perron @ 2:17 pm

What’s harder than catching a whiff of celebrity at TIFF? Finding affordable housing just about anywhere. Oh, Montreal! Once the city of cheap housing, untapped musical genius, and vintage frocks—but no more! Everyone knows Montreal has changed, and most natives will give you an earful if asked who’s to blame: hipster culture, American frat boys, and the yuppie-go-luckies slurping up condos across the city. Everyone’s got their own version of the latest G (for gentrification) spot: Parc Ex, St. Henri, HoMa. But not everyone’s paying through the nose for their patch of green. 

 

Yes, I know you’re out there—the few, the proud—settled into comfortable Mile End 3 1/2’s before the youthquake, gathered round the (silver) radiator with fond memories of before Esperanza became Cagibi. I once was one of you; and now, scouring Craigslist at 3 a.m. for 3 1/2’s in the city’s most remote nooks, I stop and ask myself, “Why, why, why did I ever give up that little place on Clark?” And then I remember: syringes in the flower bed, crackwhores in the alley, mould-related allergies, termites in the floorboards, and St. Laurent between April and December.

 

Once known as the House of Slack, my little shack bellow St. Cuthbert became home to generations of unmotivated, malnourished artist types. Anyone who moved into its rooms was doomed, it would seem, to a life of low-income, pot-smoking bliss. The price to be paid for the dirt-cheap rent was the hell that became the Plateau. I got out while I still could, with my rickety typewriter, mustering what little inspiration I had left.

 

I may not regret passing 3845 Clark on to the new generation, but I am envious of all those with rent-controlled apartments in Montreal 2008. And I beg of you, oh kindhearted readers, if you or anyone you know has a much coveted lease that you’re ready to pass on, contact me.

 

Burn After Reading September 14, 2008

Filed under: Film — Marianne Perron @ 6:11 pm

Not knowing what to expect, I headed to the theater on opening night with my date. The title was the only clue I had; as far as directions go “burn after reading” is a sure tip-off of something top secret. While not the Coen brothers at their best, BAR is a bizarre schwarz-tinted comedy that casts long favorite actors in unexpected roles, criss-crosses storylines with expertise, and wraps up with an even darker resolution. Highlights include Brad Pitt’s zany dance moves, John Malkovich’s public burst of violence, and, well, Frances McDormand.

 

MMMMMMMM… September 10, 2008

Filed under: Food — Marianne Perron @ 3:02 pm

Photo courtesy of JoyKampia.com

 

Watch out Big M, there’s a new burger in town. The classy little joint is called M:brgr, and it’s Moishe’s answer to phonetics. On a Friday night the place is a mecca for the neighbourhood’s budding leisure class: twenty-somethings with designer jeans and Daddy’s-little-princess expense accounts. The staff is blonde and ambitious, the music is dance-club-loud, and the food is absolutely worth it.

 

A delicious and slightly overpriced burger at M’s will set you back $12 – $20*, depending on your choice of toppings. These vary in price and include caramelized onions, goat cheese, and yes, even truffles. The burgers are not enormous, but are healthy, plump, and pink inside. The yam fries, while not original, are yummy all the same, and the chocolate cake is thick, rich, and gooey. With an assortment of beers and fancy drinks at your disposal, M:brgr is a great place to bring a date. The only drawback is having to eat elbow-to-elbow with the Gucci-Gucci set. 

 

 

 

*With a portion of profits promised off to “Montreal’s children’s charities.”

 

Wanderlust September 10, 2008

Filed under: Money, Musings, Work — Marianne Perron @ 2:12 pm

Where Barbies Come From

 

I spend my days listening to wealthy people talk about their travels and escapades, and dutifully trekking on and off the island of Montreal. Besides my daily trips to the city of Brossard, I haven’t left the island in years. Currently, several of my close friends are living their lives abroad. I can’t even scrimp together enough money to visit Ottawa, and I owe the government more money than I will make in the next two years. Yet, despite my sedentary life, a small demon has been growing in my belly for some time. It is an irrepressible desire to flee this (dead-end) city while the going is good. In fact, were it not for my perpetual financial distress, I do believe I would have been long gone moons ago. I even dream about epic journeys across exotic lands. Friends try to entice me with promises of guided tours and free accommodations. As if my urge to skip town weren’t incentive enough. No, I have no shortage of motivation; it’s my wallet that keeps me down. I’m certain that one day my wanderlust will be satisfied. Until then I’ve got my trusty Opus card, and a smattering of places to stay. 

 

Things We Have Love/Hate Relationships With September 7, 2008

Filed under: Sex, Things We Have Love/Hate Relationships With — Marianne Perron @ 1:58 pm

 

The booty call: the single (wo)man’s salvation. Nothing, it would seem, is easier or less guilt-free than an appropriately timed phone call to a willing participant. No euphemisms, no explanations required, and absolutely no commitment. Perfect. Yet, is there anything more degrading and humiliating than a failed booty call? Maybe having to call your victim in the morning to apologize. 

 

The Right to Remain Hip September 4, 2008

Filed under: Musings — Marianne Perron @ 11:36 pm

I consider myself to be pretty hip. I listen to interesting music, read intelligently, am open-minded, and for the most part, make a cool date. I attend diverse cultural events, such as the opera and Patti Smith concerts, love poetry (it doesn’t get cooler than that), and photograph well. I befriend characters of all stripes, enjoy a wide range of activities, and have a knack for creative endeavors. As far as my own artistic projects are concerned, I blame any discrepancies between my own personal tastes and those of the status quo on the fact that I’m way ahead of my time. Oh, and did I mention that I have great taste? Just about the only thing I don’t do is have sex.

 

Ok. So you’re thinking, “man, is this bitch ever cocky”. Hold up – I am the first to acknowledge that I have many flaws, and can sometimes (ok, often) do things that are considered “uncool”. For instance, um, not having sex. How much less cool can you get? I am clumsy, can be socially awkward, have anxiety attacks in public places, and sometimes just don’t get it. And I have no idea what the cool kids are listening to these days.

 

But still, I retain a certain hipness that’s fresh and all my own.

 

And what about you too out there, painfully or awkwardly rocking the scene in your misfit way? Aren’t you also at least a little bit hip? Don’t you sometimes know exactly where it’s at? Does that mean there’s no place for you here, among the tragic unhipsters, mean dancing machines, and self-professed queens of uncool? Of course not!

 

We want to celebrate the very human tendencies we all exhibit, whether we are mega-posse American Apparel sex gods, Zellers Discount bin ransackers, or high gloss ultra-vixens on the outside. There’s always a moment when all the fancy packaging comes undone, and a genuine human (!) can be seen, in all its (tragic) glory. That’s what makes being human so great — we are at once beautiful creatures and total messes. Just like Cameron Diaz in “There’s Something About Mary”.