The Tragically Unhip

a blog with three fingers on the pulse of uncoolness.

Video Blogging: A (Sexual) Revolution January 20, 2009

Filed under: Culture & Society,Musings,Sex,Technology,Video — Laurin McNiff @ 10:29 pm

Sometimes, when plugging in and connecting to this vast blogosphere, we forget that solid gold can be found in simple expressions and critiques by regular folk just like you and me: via postings, webisodes, and other forums splashed across the interwebs. Take, for example, this gem I found today while casually browsing YouTube, called “Let Me Smell Yo Dick“ by a woman who goes by the handle “gloriousmandestroya“.

 

When first viewing, you’re not quite sure if this is just a dialogue on change, society, and economic climate; or if it really is a defensive analysis of the act of smelling male genitalia (or fingers) to determine whether a significant other has cheated. It’s a candid (yes, candid is the word I’ll use here) rundown on relationships, cheating, and sex.

 

Other issues that gloriousmandestroya addresses in the 119 YouTube video blogs she’s posted thus far? Hairy armpits, titties, birth control, the joys of being a slut, voting, the N word, the guilt suffered by rape and abuse victims, women who don’t have orgasms, interracial relationships, and vegetarianism. Is she a feminist? A talking head? Clueless? Accurate? Is she a controversial voice of the Internet Generation? Whatever she’s doing, she’s doing something right, because her video blogs have more subscribers (4693 people, as of January 20) than our humble blog gets visitors in a month.

 

Gloriousmandestroya’s “Let Me Smell Yo Dick” video blog is actually a commentary on the song of the same name by Riskay. We’ve posted it here, for your viewing and listening pleasure. 18+ only!

 

 

You’re Nobody ‘Til Somebody Likes You January 16, 2009

Filed under: Books & Mags,Video — Tragically Unhip Staff @ 7:48 pm

‘Tis an exciting day in Unhipster-land: We’ve been mentioned in one of the coolest pop culture magazines in Canada! We’re still reeling from shock, but we’re sober enough to tell you that we were selected as one of Naked Eye magazine’s favourite websites of 2008. How cool is that? You can see for yourself by clicking on the newly-created “Press” section in the top right corner of this webpage, or, if you don’t believe us and would like to pick up a paper copy (which you should do anyway, because it’s a really good magazine), Naked Eye can be found on newsstands all across Canada and in select Barnes & Noble locations in New York and Los Angeles. Gen feels a little like Sally Field today: “You like me, right now. You like me!”

 

 

Hipster Conversation Topics for the Watercooler, Part II December 4, 2008

Filed under: Advertising,Top Ten,Video — Tess Hart @ 12:03 pm

For our latest installment in the Hipster Conversation Topics for the Watercooler series, might I recommend that you engage your coworkers in a retrospective on the Japanese commercial from the historical and present day perspectives? By following the simple instructions below, you too can experience pure cinematographic genius combined with advertising so persuasive and powerful that you might feel the sudden urge to fill your house with robots, penguins, and singing food. Resist these temptations and remember, in just 2-3 minutes you can sound like an expert connoisseur of an obscure topic that no one outside the darkest circles of trendster would ever discuss. Okay, so your coworkers have probably all seen an Akira Kurosawa movie or two, but how nerdy (or ultrahip) are they really?

 

To begin:

1. Open web browser

2. View YouTube videos below (30 seconds each)

3. Put up a really important-looking document on your computer screen and close all web-browsing applications

4. Amble over to the watercooler/coffee machine/kitchenette area/microwave

5. As soon as someone walks by, strike up a conversation on the creativity, absurdity, and humour of Japanese advertising. Don’t be shy about commenting on obscure insights provided by these cultural windows, or discovering subliminal connections to Gus Van Sant movies.

 

It’s easy!

 

 

Top Ten Awesomest Japanese Commercials I Could Find on YouTube (Plus Bonus Pasta Sauce Ads):

 

10. Robot Commercial

9.  A Wholesome Example of Mars Curry from the 60′s

8.  Singing Pizza Toppings

7.  Japanese Hip Hop Tells You All About the Legend of Zelda

6.  Penguins Promoting Toilets

5.  Cute Girls in New Town Are Not What They Seem

4.  Find This Man. He Can Destroy the Cockroaches in Your House.

3.  Early 90s: Japan Airlines Hired Janet Jackson for Their SWAT Team

2.  I Have No Idea What This Commercial Is For But It Has Children And Is Sinister

1.  Psychic Caterpillars with Jedi Mind Tricks

 

Special Bonus Evil Pasta Sauce Commercial Series:

3.  Pasta Sauce à la Linda Blair

2.  Pasta Sauce à la The Shining

1.  Pasta Sauce Has Landed

 

Things We Would Do If We Were Cool December 1, 2008

Filed under: Body,Things We Would Do If We Were Cool,Video — Elli S. @ 1:40 pm

 

 

I was looking through The Globe and Mail’s Week in Pictures and came across a 16-year-old named Aaron Fotheringham from Las Vegas. The kid has spina bifida and has been in a wheelchair since he was three, yet he’s doing backflips in Las Vegas skate parks. I can’t even come close to doing anything remotely cool like that, and I have two fully functional legs. What’s more, he calls his sport hardcore sitting, and he’s been touring the Western world to promote it.

 

Personally, I have a different definition of hardcore sitting—and it’s exactly what I’ve been doing all day. I will continue to hardcore sit, perhaps even take a break or two to hardcore nap and hardcore nibble on the lack of food in my fridge.

 

But here’s a question: If someone without a disability were to hop in a wheelchair and take it to the skate park, would that be legitimate hardcore sitting? Are the non-paraplegic allowed to partake in Fotheringham’s version of hardcore sitting, or is that kind of like that crappy Johnny Knoxville movie where he tries to compete in the Paralympics? Hmm.

 

If I were cool, I would probably be too cool to skateboard/BMX/hardcore sit. As it is, I am merely too lazy, and I have the coordination of a cross-eyed sloth with two left feet.

 

Indie Writer Death Match November 19, 2008

Filed under: Books & Mags,Hipster Culture,Video — Tess Hart @ 1:10 am

Secretly, your dream is to be a Roman and to have your short stories published in The New Yorker. Well, don’t we all; who doesn’t love those strappy leather sandals à la Russell Crowe in Gladiator? Life is all about managing your expectations. So in the meantime, you can enter Broken Pencil’s Second Annual Indie Writer’s Death Match.

 

Too lazy to participate in NaNoWriMo? This writing contest—if your work proves worthy, that is—will throw you into a noxious pit of hipster short story readers and place your sweat and tears at the mercy of their detached, eclectic taste. Broken Pencil magazine’s blood- and word-thirsty editors will select eight submissions/sacrificial vessels to battle one another in the online coliseum. Readers from around the world will comment and vote on their favourite story, while the respective writers will use their wit and literary skill to diss their opponent and champion their own writing. Every week two short stories will be paired against each other and readers will vote for their favourite. Each week’s winning story will pass to the next round to face another worthy opponent, until only one story is left to bask victoriously in the brief, two-minute glow that a hipster’s attention span is capable of.

 

The pen (or keyboard) is indeed mightier than the sword. For more alterna-culture and literary ninjas hailing from Canada, check out the video challenge courtesy of Broken Pencil’s Hal Niedzviecki. Your fingers will be itching to write up that story in no time.

 

 

Hipster Conversation Topics for the Water Cooler November 14, 2008

Filed under: Art,Hipster Culture,Music,Video — Tess Hart @ 12:26 am

Chances are if you work in an office, there’s a central watering hole of some kind. A water cooler can act as a destination and reason for you to slowly rise from your chair, stretch your legs, restart the circulation, and stroll over for a cup of ambrosia*. Or maybe it’s a coffee machine, and you’re filling up on a cuppa joe while chatting with your co-workers, whom you probably have loads in common with. (Or not.) But there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have hip, random, and obscure topics of conversation to share with them. 

 

No doubt about it: Water cooler culture has revolutionized office procrastination in ways second only to the internet. So because there aren’t enough things to keep you busy at work and because you already have way too much music on your iPod, check out the clip for “White Corolla” by Casiotone for the Painfully Alone. Owen Ashworth, hailing from San Francisco, uses music to paint portraits of the lonely, pensive characters who inhabit his songs with a mixed media palette of ’80s pop, ’90s electronica, American folk, hip hop, and an impressive arsenal of instruments. Lyrics like “but then she slipped away from me/she met a boy from New Jersey/& they fell fast in love of course/I swear it felt like a divorce” are a staple in his work, and he hires interesting illustrators like Julia Pott to create and animate his videos.

 

 

 

 

* Don’t kid yourself; it’s tap water.

 

Roman Holiday November 1, 2008

Filed under: Fashion,How-To,Video — Kimberly Senf @ 9:59 pm

I made the decision to be a toga-clad Roman for Hallowe’en, thinking that it would be the simplest costume to pull off. Little did I know that the weight of the material of your toga, as well as your ability to grow a third arm for tying purposes, are both very important factors to consider when choosing to drape yourself in this costume of the ancients.

 

In order to figure out exactly how much white cloth I’d be needing, I did what I always do when faced with such a pickle: I Googled it. I found what I thought to be a very informative (if not dated and mildly annoying) video of a British woman telling me how exactly I should be affixing the toga to my person. Little did I know that she was instructing me to buy 3 yards of fabric too many, thus doubling the price of my costume. I don’t know who she thinks needs 6 yards of fabric, but it ain’t me. Oh yes, and she topped off her how-to with the instructions for all of us toga-clad ladies to go party like it’s 1999. But please don’t take my word for it; watch for yourself.

 

 

After watching a few more instructional videos on YouTube and trying to make sense of all the extra fabric I’d purchased, I finally decided to do things the old-fashioned way. Out came the safety pins and scissors. A couple of snips and my supply of fabric was down to half of its original size and much more manageable. Then my roommate—whom I’d already flashed while running around the house half-naked and who had seen (and heard) me struggling for a half hour—poked her head in. Between the two of us, my toga was on and tied in minutes.

 

A couple of points to remember are to make sure that you save the eye-catching underwear for every other day of the year and that you wrap the material around your body at least once before you start in with the toga tying, securing the material with a safety pin in order to hold everything in place. Don’t let anyone tell you that this a one person job, because unless you have superhuman toga-tying abilities, it takes two to tie the toga.